Day 14 of being a dad and I’m noticing a dearth of tasks which God has set aside for just me to do. So far my wife got to be pregnant, my wife got to give birth, and now my wife gets to breastfeed him.
Sure, I may be drastically superior at falling asleep with Zach on my chest. But God didn’t give this task to only me. With enough training and practice and a class or two, my wife could one day get Zach to fall asleep on her chest like I do, though he probably wouldn’t like it as much.
Kind of like the way I’m an inferior swaddler, guaranteeing at least three appendages free by the time he wakes up. With some experience, I could swaddle him like mom, tight and cozy:
The point is that there didn’t seem to be anything exclusive to men. All the exclusive stuff goes to women. So I was talking to God about this while changing Zach (another thing my wife does much better). I asked Him why He would give women so many exclusive baby raising gifts, but men none.
And that’s when it hit me. Literally. Zach peed on me and his changing table and the wall.
And I smiled at God. Knowing that my wife would never be able to teach Zach how to pee standing up. I thought about putting toilet paper squares in the toilet in years to come, teaching Zach all about timing and accuracy. And I finished changing him. He stopped crying. I picked him up. And said, “Amen.”