The One Where I Broke Up With Sarah and Learned the Stegosaurus Dance

Sarah and I lasted about a week and a half. 

I asked mom, “How old do you have to be to get married?” thinking the answer was at least ten years old.  But mom said I’d have to wait until I was 18 which was extra long away because my birthday was in October.  “Oh,” I said and thought about how hard it would be to break her heart.

She was amazing.  She could ride a two-wheeler, played T-ball for the Blue Jays, and gave me a travel magnetic checkers set when I gave her part of my stamp collection. 

This is me, attempting to wrap the present for Sarah. I'm not sure if she liked me because of my bifocals or my cowlick.

She was just about everything I wanted in a girlfriend.  We had a great time while we were together, but life in 1982 was just too busy:  It was fall baseball season and I was on the Brewers.  Plus I had a lot of He-Man figures I was neglecting.

The last straw came when we lined up one day after lunch.  We had lost at kickball and our teacher was late in coming to get us.  Scott, who was captain of the winning team, led the class in the song, the one no 7-year-old boy wants to hear:  “Jimmy and Sarah sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G… ”

I felt my face turning bright red.  I let go of Sarah’s hand.  And that was it.  I took the coward’s way out.  I never told her I didn’t love her or that we were no longer boyfriend and girlfriend.  I just ignored her. 

About three days later, her friend came to me, “Sarah’s worried you don’t love her anymore.” 

I told her friend that I did love her, but just didn’t have any time to spend with her.  We went to class and sat down. 

Dr Hasenstab announced, “Today, we’re going to learn our dances for the Christmas play.  Everybody up, we’re going to the auditorium.”

I loved the Christmas play.  Each year, we learned one song about Christmas and one song about Hanukkah.  I already knew Jingle Bells, the Dreidel Song, and Jingle Bell Rock.  I thought there was a good chance that I would already know one of the songs.

We got to the auditorium.  Dr. Hasenstab announced, “This year, we’re going to do the Stegosaurus song, the Brontosaurus song, and the Triceratops song.  Each of you will dance in one song and sing the other two.”

Three new songs!  I didn’t know which dinosaur belonged to Jesus and which belonged to the Jewish kids, but that was what school was for. 

Dr. Hasenstab played the songs on the record player and modeled the dance for each song.  She then read off the names of who would dance in each song and she put us right together, “Stegosaurus dance, Jimmy, Sarah, Robbie W, Scott R, Rachael…”

I exhaled and lined up next to Sarah.  She smiled and looked at me.  I talked to Robbie.  And then the music started.  “I am a stegosaurus, I’m a funny looking dinosaur…”

I sang along, loudly and danced a little bit off.  We finished our rehearsal.  I didn’t look at Sarah. 

We won our baseball game that afternoon and I dedicated my performance to Sarah.  I hit a home run and two doubles, but I still felt a little bad.

About Jimmy

The stories herein are about a sentimental 80s child who cried at every showing of ET (the sad part where he was lying in the wash) and his families, then and now. His wife, son, parents, and siblings play their parts well. They have their exits and their entrances. Sometimes their exits are sad, but not as sad as ET.
This entry was posted in Baseball, Life, memoir, Nostalgia and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The One Where I Broke Up With Sarah and Learned the Stegosaurus Dance

  1. inkline says:

    Little did little Jimmy know that his bride had not yet been born!
    Think of how much you would have loved me if you’d met me when I was a baby!
    A baby! A baby! A baby!

  2. edwincov says:

    That’s how I break up with my girlfriends nowadays too!

    Hahaha if only life were that easy. .


  3. Dianna says:

    Cute story. Love the He-man action figure reference. (How many of those things were there in our house, along with Batman, GI Joe’s……)

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